A note on coping

Many of you have commented that Rebecca and I have coped well with Claire’s Epilepsy and our extended hospitals stays. I hope you’re right and we have handled it well. But there are no secrets to what gets us through. I want to take a moment to share with you.....................................................................

1. GOD. Okay, I might of lost some of you right there. But hang in. Ever wonder why EVERY civilization creates some kind of religion? Spirituality is imprinted into our DNA and you’d be hard pressed to find an Anthropologist in the world who’d disagree. When there are no answers in the world, God gives us peace, and it is difficult for me to put in words the value in that. There is a source that is pretty good and you may have left on the shelf thanks to poor media coverage: The Bible. Yeah, there’s some good stuff there. Prayer. You may not have a relationship with the Great Unknown, but you’d be surprised what some meditation and voicing your concerns aloud can accomplish.

2. SCIENCE. What? Aren’t I making some kind of fatal contradiction? A paradox? It would be like a Progressive and a Tea Partier compromising and working together—is that possible? GROW UP. Too many Christians forgo science and way too many scientists forgo religion. For me, the science is good…DAMN GOOD. I’ve read my fair share of Medical Journals and Neurology Text books of late. Some people have joked that I’ll have my MD by the time Claire is discharged. It’s true that science still knows very little about the Human Brain, but had my daughter been born a century ago, she wouldn’t have survived her first week.

3. ADVOCACY. Doctors and nurses are overworked, burned out, distracted, have huge egos, and lack any sort of communication skills. The technology is good, but still way behind what it could be thanks to a lack of government intervention in data systems. And, too much government intervention by way of the corrupt FDA. Don’t get me started on health insurance. Rebecca and I write down EVERYTHING. We educate ourselves, observe, and manage. More often than not, WE lead the doctors and nurses. But let me clear, we also LISTEN to what the doctors and nurses have to say. Most are dedicated and love the children. So we pay attention to the debates. We draw on their experience and wisdom. Most importantly, we ask a ton of questions and speak out when we think something is wrong.

4. ESCAPISM. We somehow need to step away and not feel guilty about it. I am able to grind into my work, exercise, read a book, or vegetate on my Nintendo DS. For Rebecca it’s a good cry, a good night’s sleep, some mother/daughter time, or me tearing her away from the hospital once in awhile. Just like our iPad or Phone, we have to shut down and recharge every couple of days. Leave your child with someone you trust. Rekindle your relationship with your spouse. If you two aren’t coherent, how can you expect to manage your stress and parenthood?